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M. Bakri Musa

Seeing Malaysia My Way

My Photo
Name:
Location: Morgan Hill, California, United States

Malaysian-born Bakri Musa writes frequently on issues affecting his native land. His essays have appeared in the Far Eastern Economic Review, Asiaweek, International Herald Tribune, Education Quarterly, SIngapore's Straits Times, and The New Straits Times. His commentary has aired on National Public Radio's Marketplace. His regular column Seeing It My Way appears in Malaysiakini. Bakri is also a regular contributor to th eSun (Malaysia). He has previously written "The Malay Dilemma Revisited: Race Dynamics in Modern Malaysia" as well as "Malaysia in the Era of Globalization," "An Education System Worthy of Malaysia," "Seeing Malaysia My Way," and "With Love, From Malaysia." Bakri's day job (and frequently night time too!) is as a surgeon in private practice in Silicon Valley, California. He and his wife Karen live on a ranch in Morgan Hill. This website is updated twice a week on Sundays and Wednesdays at 5 PM California time.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Making Ulama More Relevant

Making Ulama More Relevant

First posted on www.malaysia-today.net July 8, 2007

The Raja Muda of Perak speaks for many when he stated at the recent Ulama Conference that an alim (pl: ulama) “must first build a credible image of himself so that his advice and views are accepted and valued.”

Unfortunately, the sad reality is that ulama in many Muslim countries, Malaysia included, have prostituted themselves as instruments of a repressive state. They behave less as spiritual leaders and more to provide religious legitimacy to brutal and unjust governments.

In Malaysia, where the government has totally co-opted the Islamic establishment, Islam is now less a faith and more a bureaucracy, with ulama preaching government propaganda instead of doing God’s work. How many ulama have spoken out against official corruption and gross abuses of human rights?

Islam in Malaysia is what the government says it is; one deviates at one’s own earthly peril. Many have been jailed without trial courtesy of the Internal Security Act, or sent to “rehabilitation camps” by sham Syariah Courts for practicing “deviationist” Islam. This is not the wisdom of Prophet Muhammad, s.a.w., but of Comrade Stalin.

On another level, today’s ulama remind me of physicians of yore. Then, physicians were put on a pedestal, their every pronouncement meekly accepted. Even the language to describe a physician’s advice was telling: “Doctor’s orders!”

This is still the prevailing ethos in the Third World. New doctors coming from there have difficulty accepting the fact that in America physicians are just professionals like others. Meaning, patients are your valued clients, not subservient customers. You have to explain your treatment plans, tests ordered, and medications prescribed. A request for a second opinion is not seen as a slight on your professional competence rather the expectation of an informed patient. And an informed patient is a better patient.

This transformation of American physicians did not occur magically. It is the consequence of three major factors: radical changes in medical education, the public becoming more informed in matters of health and diseases, and the fact that medical care is largely in the private sector. Doctors have to listen to their customers in order to survive economically.

Then there is the manner of training. Would-be doctors in America are well grounded in the humanities and social sciences (in addition to the prerequisite natural sciences) before entering medical school. Further, it is the rare medical student who lives in dorms; most live in the community. They are not cut off from the rest of society, as priests in monasteries, or ulama in their madrasahs. American patients are also better educated and well informed, with medical information readily available. These patients do not take kindly to a physician’s patronizing or “know it all” attitude.

Educating Ulama

Contrast that to the training of an alim. More than likely he (never she) had attended a religious school where the curriculum is severely constrained. His social circle is also similarly limited; having never encountered anyone from a different faith or of the opposite sex. This pattern is repeated at university. Would-be ulama thus dwell in a world totally alien from that of their parishioners. It is no surprise that their pronouncements have little relevance to the real world.

One ready solution would be to abolish religious schools. That however, would not be politically feasible. Besides, these schools are popular with Malays; the Islamic imprimatur sells. A better alternative would be to modernize the curriculum by broadening it to include more secular subjects. There is no reason why these religious schools cannot excel in secular subjects and thus produce their share of the nation’s future scientists and managers, just like religious schools in America. American Catholic schools provide such superior education that they attract many non-Catholics, including Muslim students.

At universities these future ulama should, like modern physicians (at least in America), have broad-based liberal education. An understanding of the humanities and the sciences (natural and social) would enhance their understanding of the Quran and Hadith. The contributions of ancient Muslim scholars were prodigious and monumental because their intellectual interests were broad. They did not differentiate between religious and secular knowledge. Contrast that to the insularity of today’s ulama and religious scholars.

If our ulama are well versed with and have insights from the social sciences, they would be in a better position to relate to and counsel their ummah. They would then be less likely to be simplistic when addressing serious problems of their congregation.

All too often when ulama are confronted with major social problems, be they AIDS, drug abuse, or out-of-wedlock childbirths, their responses have been nothing but the uttering of platitudes and mindless quotations of the Quran and hadith. Similarly when they issue fatwas (decrees), they do so without much thought. They simply give their declarations without any explanation or references to existing body of knowledge. No surprise then that their fatwas are often far detached from reality; and frequently ignored.

If only they would use the occasion of issuing the fatwa as an opportunity to educate the masses by engaging them, then these ulama would be doing themselves and their followers a great service. When judges render decisions, they have pages and pages of reasoning, citing relevant precedents. Our ulama should do no less with their fatwas.

Similarly, just as judges seek testimonies from experts before deciding on a case, ulama too must not hesitate to consult specialists in the relevant fields before issuing fatwas. I would go further and suggest that these ulama have public hearings on important issues before delivering their edicts.

I am appalled that ulama and religious scholars would issue fatwas on such complex matters as modern financial instruments like bonds or public health issues such as AIDS without first understanding them. These are new and daunting problems that earlier Muslims never had to face. Endlessly quoting ancient texts would shed little light except to illustrate general principles. It would be more useful to understand these modern issues by learning from practitioners of other disciplines, and then discern what aspects are or are not in compliance with the principles of Islam.

Quite apart from broadening the curriculum, the current education of the ulama must also be revamped. What passes for “education” in a religious class is nothing but indoctrination. The communication is strictly one way, from instructor to students.

I once attended what was supposed to be a graduate-level class in Islamic Studies. I was appalled at the lack of any intellectual discussion. When I tried to ask a question, I was patronizingly told that I could not even contemplate asking any when I was just beginning the course. I would have to wait at least until I have understood the whole material. Whereupon I retorted that if I had understood everything, then there is no need for my asking any question, or even taking the course!

The instructor’s mindset was telling, and is typical of many Islamic scholars and ulama. Even more revealing was the attitude of the students. These were adults, many professionals in their own right, yet they passively sat through the lecture.

Changing Ulama/Ummah Dynamics

Just as the physician/patient relationship is changing with the public being better informed on health matters, so too must the ulama/ummah dynamics, with average Muslims now more knowledgeable on matters of their faith. The days when the clergy class had exclusive access to religious knowledge went away with the advent of the printing press. The Internet further breached what little remains of that exclusivity.

If ulama persist in their role as gatekeepers to religious knowledge, then they risk becoming irrelevant. Through the Internet I can listen to khutbas and lectures given at leading Islamic centers. There is no need to subject myself to the boring reading of canned sermons prepared by the state. I can read it myself twice as fast, and without putting me to sleep.

On the other hand, if ulama were to assume the role of spiritual advisers, then they would have plenty to do in filling the large void in our modern lives, with problems of alienation and dislocations brought on by rapid urbanization and globalization. To effectively fill in this new role however, they would have to have knowledge and skills beyond the religious, just as a physician needs other skills beyond his narrow profession in order to succeed.

Today’s ulama need to be well versed in counseling skills, child development, family dynamics, and social work to meet the needs of their modern ummah. Muslims today would not be satisfied with someone only reciting the Quran; they could turn on the CD and listen to the most exquisite voices of the best qaris and qariyahs. Nor would today’s Muslims be satisfied with someone endlessly quoting the hadith. What we desperately need is someone who can relate the wisdom of the Quran and hadith to the problems we face day to day. That would demand a totally different set of skills from the ulama.

Ulama have to disengage themselves from the state. They should be the custodians of the ideals of the community; they should guide the ummah along the straight path. Most of all, our ulama should be our bulwark against the tyranny of the state, and not be its accomplice.

If we change how and what we teach our Islamic Studies students, we may get ulama who have a “credible image of himself so that his advice and views are accepted and valued.” That would be good for the ulama, the ummah, Malaysia, and Islam.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Bakri&Karen
Salaam

This is still the prevailing ethos in the Third World. New doctors coming from there have difficulty accepting the fact that in America physicians are just professionals like others. Meaning, patients are your valued clients, not subservient customers...This transformation of American physicians did not occur magically. It is the consequence of three major factors: radical changes in medical education, the public becoming more informed in matters of health and diseases, and the fact that medical care is largely in the private sector. Doctors have to listen to their customers in order to survive economically.

But I can't really understand that as neither can I really understand this:

July 16, 2007
Paul Krugman: The Waiting Game

Paul Krugman straightens out some of the misleading claims made about health care waiting times, access to care, and other issues in comparisons of the U.S. to countries with universal health coverage:

The Waiting Game, by Paul Krugman, Commentary, NY Times: Being without health insurance is no big deal. Just ask President Bush. “I mean, people have access to health care in America,” he said last week. “After all, you just go to an emergency room.”

This is what you might call callousness with consequences. The White House has announced that Mr. Bush will veto a bipartisan plan that would extend health insurance ... to an estimated 4.1 million currently uninsured children. After all, it’s not as if those kids really need insurance — they can just go to emergency rooms, right?...

Mr. Bush['s] ... willful ignorance here is part of a larger picture...
http://economistsview.typepad.com/economistsview/

Perhaps they are unrelated and I am rather, well you know, a Third World dude with a attitude and aptitude to match. Oh well, live and learn.

8:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once attended what was supposed to be a graduate-level class in Islamic Studies. I was appalled at the lack of any intellectual discussion. When I tried to ask a question, I was patronizingly told that I could not even contemplate asking any when I was just beginning the course. I would have to wait at least until I have understood the whole material. Whereupon I retorted that if I had understood everything, then there is no need for my asking any question, or even taking the course!....

Hahahahahaha ha!
Good joke, dude

What we desperately need is someone who can relate the wisdom of the Quran and hadith to the problems we face day to day. That would demand a totally different set of skills from the ulama...Ulama have to disengage themselves from the state...Most of all, our ulama should be our bulwark against the tyranny of the state, and not be its accomplice.

Who would that be today?
Benny Ladino?
Mulela As-Sadr?
Azharo Qardhawi?
Bosnian Mustafa Cedric?
Murrabit Ian Dallas?
Neo Kabbani?
Super Ottear-ang-oolo-ooloAbdullah Ahmad Badawi Al-Fatani!!!?(hmmmm expect the You Tee Kays)

If we change how and what we teach our Islamic Studies students, we may get ulama who have a “credible image of himself so that his advice and views are accepted and valued.” That would be good for the ulama, the ummah, Malaysia, and Islam."

AMEEEEEEEN!


Man, thank you, thank you Bakri for this blogspot! It is like mi casa su casa, Karen. And it's like, like a
'the doors unlock and the fridge stock AND try not to make a ruckus!'

Warmest salaam as I lounge on the ottoman and watch CSI on the telly.

You guys are the greatest!

Syukran, syukran!

8:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bakri&Karen
Salaam

Di you know that this writer passed away about some months ago?
But here is his legacy and it is in Bahasa, dudes:

Raja Haji pahlawan teragung Nusantara
Oleh Wan Mohd. Shaghir Abdullah

MASYARAKAT Melayu masih ramai belum mengetahui bahawa di Melaka ada beberapa orang tokoh dunia Melayu yang terkorban sebagai syuhada kerana membela kemuliaan Islam dan bangsa Melayu.

Mereka sanggup berkorban apa saja, termasuk harta dan nyawa, demi berjuang mengusir penjajah Portugis mahupun Belanda. Di antara sekian ramai yang gugur sebagai syuhada termasuklah seorang ‘ulama’ sufi dunia Melayu yang paling terkenal. Beliau bermakam di Melaka. Ulama yang dimaksudkan ialah Syeikh Syamsuddin as-Sumatra-i yang terkorban sebagai syuhada kerana berperang dengan Portugis.

Sejarah yang penting tentang tokoh besar yang syahid fisabilillah di Melaka juga ialah Raja Haji bin Upu Daeng Celak yang terkorban kerana melawan penjajah Belanda. Saya berpendapat bahawa Raja Haji ialah pahlawan dunia Melayu yang terbesar atau teragung dan terhebat semacam Hang Tuah memandangkan daerah operasinya di daratan dan maritim yang amat luas. Raja Haji inilah yang menjadi topik perbicaraan dalam artikel ini.

Daripada sebelah ayahnya, Raja Haji berasal daripada keturunan raja-raja di tanah Bugis, negeri Luwuk. Di sebelah ibunya pula berasal daripada keturunan raja-raja Melayu. Raja Haji lahir di Kota Lama, di Hulu Sungai Riau, pada tahun 1139 H/1727 M dan wafat pada hari Rabu di Teluk Ketapang, Melaka, 19 Rejab 1198 H/8 Jun 1784 M.

Hubungan dengan ulama
Raja Haji walaupun bukan seorang ulama, namun dibicarakan juga dalam ruangan ini, disebabkan beberapa faktor. Pertama adalah kerana beliau sempat bergaul dengan beberapa orang ulama. Dipercayai beliau sempat berjumpa dengan Saiyid Husein al-Qadri di Mempawah, iaitu guru ayah saudaranya Upu Daeng Menambon. Putera Upu Daeng Menambon bernama Gusti Jamiril ini mendapat pendidikan Islam yang padu. Gusti Jamiril adalah saudara sepupu Raja Haji, kedua-duanya sempat bergaul. Dengan demikian tata cara pergaulan Islam, sekali gus amalan keilmuan saudara sepupunya itu, berpengaruh terhadap Raja Haji.

Dalam masa yang sama Raja Haji dan Gusti Jamiril sempat belajar kepada Syeikh Ali bin Faqih yang berasal dari Patani. Beliau ini ialah Mufti Mempawah yang kedua, menggantikan Saiyid Husein al-Qadri. Makam beliau disebut ‘Keramat Pokok Sena’ terletak di Perkuburan Kampung Pedalaman Mempawah. Hubungan Raja Haji dengan Saiyid Abdur Rahman bin Saiyid Husein al-Qadri, Sultan Pontianak yang pertama juga sangat dekat. Saiyid Abdur Rahman al-Qadri ialah suami Utin Cenderamidi bin Upu Daeng Menambon. Faktor kedua, daripada keturunan Raja Haji ramai yang menjadi ulama di antaranya Raja Ali Haji (cucu beliau) yang sangat terkenal itu. Keturunan beliau yang turut menjadi ulama ialah Raja Haji Umar bin Raja Hasan bin Raja Ali Haji dan lain-lain.

Gelaran yang disandang
Raja Haji menyandang pelbagai gelaran yang diberikan antaranya ialah Engku Kelana (1747M - 1777M), Pangeran Sutawijaya, Yang Dipertuan Muda Riau-Johor IV (1777M - 1784M), Raja Api, Marhum Teluk Ketapang, Marhum Asy-Syahid fisabilillah. Yang terakhir, secara rasmi atas nama sebuah pemerintahan, Raja Haji dianugerahi gelaran Pahlawan Nasional Indonesia memperoleh Bintang Mahaputera Adipradana oleh Presiden Republik Indonesia di Jakarta pada 11 Ogos 1997.

Tahun 1756M - 1758M Raja Haji bersama sepupunya Daeng Kemboja memimpin Perang Linggi melawan Belanda. Perang Linggi melibatkan pasukan-pasukan Melayu yang berasal dari Linggi, Rembau, Klang, Selangor dan Siak.

Sewaktu Syarif ‘Abdur Rahman al-Qadri memerangi Sanggau, Raja Haji ialah sebagai Pahlawan Perang. Perang berlaku pada 26 Muharam 1192H/24 Februari 1778 M sehingga 11 Safar 1192H/11 Mac 1778 M. Raja Haji pula melantik Syarif Abdur Rahman al-Qadri sebagai sultan yang pertama Kerajaan Pontianak sekali gus Raja Haji menyusun kerangka pentadbiran kerajaan itu.

Raja Haji merupakan satu-satunya pahlawan Nusantara yang pernah menjejak kakinya hampir ke seluruh negeri-negeri Melayu. Di antaranya Terengganu, Pahang, Johor, Selangor, Kedah, Langkat, Inderagiri, Jambi, Muntok/Bangka, Pontianak, Mempawah dan lain-lain. Jika kita bandingkan dengan semua pahlawan di Nusantara, seumpama Pangeran Diponegoro, Imam Bonjol, dan lain-lain, mereka hanya beroperasi di daratan saja dan tidak mengalami perang maritim. Jika kita bandingkan dengan Sultan Hasanuddin, beliau ialah seorang pahlawan maritim saja, tidak banyak pengalaman dalam peperangan di daratan. Kalau ada hanyalah sekitar Sulawesi Selatan.

Kalau kita banding dari segi yang lain pula, bukan bererti memperkecil-kecilkan pejuang yang lain, tetapi sejarah mencatatkan bahawa ramai pejuang ada yang menyerah kepada penjajah. Ada yang tertangkap kerana ditipu secara licik dan lain-lain. Semua yang tersebut berbeza dengan Raja Haji. Beliau lebih rela mati di medan juang daripada menyerah ataupun tertipu oleh pihak musuh. Pada 18 Jun 1784 M Raja Haji terbunuh sebagai syahid fisabilillah dalam peperangan melawan Belanda pimpinan Jacob Pieter van Braam di Melaka. Pasukan Melayu yang tewas bersama Raja Haji dianggarkan sekitar 500 orang. Sebagaimana pada mukadimah yang telah saya nyatakan, “... Raja Haji bin Upu Daeng Celak merupakan pahlawan dunia Melayu yang terbesar atau teragung dan terhebat sesudah Hang Tuah....”

Walau bagaimanapun, haruslah kita sedar bahawa kisah Hang Tuah lebih bercorak mitos. Berbeza dengan Raja Haji. Kisah beliau tercatat sebagai sejarah yang dibuktikan dengan data dan fakta yang tidak dapat ditolak. Oleh itu jika ditinjau dari segi sejarah bererti ‘Raja Haji pahlawan dunia Melayu yang terbesar dan terhebat, bukan Hang Tuah.’

Kejadian aneh
Raja Ali Haji dalam Tuhfat an-Nafis meriwayatkan kejadian aneh terhadap jenazah Raja Haji setelah mangkat dalam keadaan syahid fisabilillah seperti berikut, “Syahdan adalah aku dapat khabar daripada itu daripada orang tua-tua yang mutawatir, adalah sebelum lagi ditanamnya mayat Yang Dipertuan Muda Raja Haji, al-Marhum itu, maka ditaruhnya di dalam peti hendak dibawanya ke Betawi, sudah sedia kapal akan membawa jenazah al-Marhum itu. Maka menantikan keesokan harinya sahaja, maka pada malam itu keluar memancar ke atas seperti api daripada peti jenazah al-Marhum Raja Haji itu. Maka gaduhlah orang Melaka itu melihatkan hal yang demikian itu. Di dalam tengah bergaduh itu kapal yang akan membawa jenazah al-Marhum itu pun meletup, terbakar, terbang ke udara segala isinya serta orang-orangnya. Seorang pun tiada yang lepas.

“Syahdan kata qaul yang mutawatir, tiadalah jadi dibawa jenazah al-Marhum itu pindah ke negeri yang lain. Maka ditanamkan jua di Melaka itu, hingga datang diambil dari negeri Riau adanya. Dan kata setengah qaul yang mutawatir sebab itulah digelar oleh Holanda yang dahulu-dahulu dengan nama Raja Api adanya....” (Tuhfat an-Nafis, Naskhah Terengganu, hlm. 151)

Pada pandangan saya riwayat di atas mencerminkan kemuliaan seseorang yang wafat dalam syahid fisabilillah kerana berjuang untuk kepentingan agama Islam atau memperjuangkan bangsanya, iaitu bangsa Melayu yang dicintainya. Perjuangan demikian mencerminkan kerana patuh kepada perintah Allah dan Rasul-Nya. Oleh itu tulisan Abdullah Munsyi dalam buku Hikayat Abdullah yang mengatakan bahawa mayat Raja Haji ditanam tempat kandang babi perlu dipertikaikan dan dibahas secara ilmiah. Tulisan Abdullah Munsyi selengkapnya sebagai berikut, “Sebermula di balik kebun kompeni itulah ditanamkan Raja Haji. Iaitu seorang Raja Melayu yang berkuasa adanya. Asalnya iaitu keturunan Bugis. Maka isterinya bernama Ratu Emas. Maka ialah yang telah datang memerangi Melaka pada zaman Holanda – maka adalah daripada zaman itu sampai masa ini (maksudnya hingga masa Abdullah Munsyi menulis hikayatnya, pen:) kira-kira lebih sedikit daripada 60 tahun – maka hampir-hampir dapat Melaka olehnya. Maka berkeliling jajahan Melaka dan kampung-kampung semuanya sudah didapatnya melainkan tinggallah Melaka bulat-bulat sahaja yang belum didapatnya. Maka pada masa itu segala bangsa yang ada di dalam Melaka masuk perang melawan Holanda daripada Melayu, Keling, Cina, Serani masing-masing ada dengan kapitannya dan kepala perangnya. Maka adalah beberapa tahun diperanginya lalu matilah Raja Haji itu dimakan peluru di Tanjung Palas nama tempatnya. Kemudian diambil Holanda mayatnya itu ditanamkan di balik kebun yang tersebut itu. Ada pun khabarnya yang kudengar, tempat itu kandang babi. Kemudian ada kira-kira 20, 30 tahun di belakang datanglah anak buah-anak buah Raja Haji itu dari Lingga dan Riau ke Melaka meminta izin kepada raja Inggeris hendak dipindahkannya kubur itu ke Riau. Maka diberikanlah izin. Lalu dibawanyalah pergi....” (Hikayat Abdullah, hlm. 57 - 58)

Riwayat Abdullah Munsyi tentang Raja Haji ditanam di kandang babi adalah sukar diterima disebabkan: Pertama, jauh berbeza dengan yang ditulis oleh Raja Ali Haji seperti tersebut di atas. Kedua, orang yang wafat keadaannya syahid fisabilillah adalah dimuliakan oleh Allah s.w.t.. Dalam al-Quran disebutkan bahawa “orang-orang yang mati syahid adalah tidak mati, dalam kubur mereka diberi rezeki.” Dalam hadis Nabi s.a.w. pula sangat banyak menyebutkan kelebihan orang yang mati syahid. Pandangan saya ini bukan bererti menuduh Abdullah Munsyi telah melakukan pembohongan dalam tulisannya, kerana beliau sendiri menyebut pada awal kalimatnya, “Ada pun khabarnya yang kudengar”. Oleh itu pelbagai andaian boleh dibuat. Yang pertama, boleh jadi khabar yang didengar itu sengaja diproses oleh pembohong-pembohong daripada kalangan penguasa penjajah ketika itu untuk menghapuskan kebangkitan jihad orang-orang Melayu Islam yang tidak suka negerinya dijajah oleh golongan yang bukan Islam. Kedua, kemungkinan tekanan kuasa penjajah memaksa supaya Abdullah Munsyi menulis sedemikian. Oleh itu kita perlu berfikir dan teliti setiap kalimat dan perkataan yang ditulisnya.

Selain itu jika kita berfikir secara kritis dan membuat analisis secara bebas, khusus pada konteks di atas, memang banyak kalimat ataupun perkataan demi perkataan Abdullah Munsyi mengandung unsur-unsur politik yang menguntungkan pihak penjajah pada zamannya. Sebagai contoh, walaupun Abdullah Munsyi mengakui bahawa Raja Haji adalah seorang Raja Melayu, namun pada sambungan kalimat Abdullah Munsyi menyebut pula bahawa asal Raja Haji adalah keturunan Bugis. Kenapa Abdullah Munsyi tidak menyebut Raja Haji dari sebelah ibunya adalah keturunan Melayu. Di sini dapat diduga, jika disebut Raja Haji orang Melayu semangat orang Melayu untuk berpihak kepada Raja Haji sukar dipadamkan.
http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/content.asp?y=2006&dt=0612&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Bicara_Agama&pg=ba_01.htm

Al-Fatihah to them

10:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bakri&Karen

I Am

I am: yet what I am none cares or knows,
My friends forsake me like a memory lost;
I am the self-consumer of my woes,
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shades in love and death's oblivion lost;
And yet I am! and live with shadows tost

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life nor joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems;
And e'en the dearest--that I loved the best--
Are strange--nay, rather stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man has never trod;
A place where woman never smil'd or wept;
There to abide with my creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept:
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie;
The grass below--above the vaulted sky.

John Clare
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/i-am/

Biography of John Clare
John Clare was born to a poor labouring family in Northamptonshire. His education did not extend much beyond basic reading and writing, and he had to start work herding animals at the age of seven. This was not a promising start for a future writer, but in his early teens he discovered The Seasons by James Thomson and began writing poems himself.

His first love, Mary Joyce, was the daughter of a wealthy farmer; their separation caused Clare great pain, and it contributed to the sense of loss which pervades much of his poetry.

In 1820 he married Martha Turner and published his first book of poems. He was described as 'John Clare, a Northampton Peasant' on the title-page, and the current fashion for 'rural poetry' brought him some celebrity in London. He made friends with Charles Lamb and other literary figures, and was granted the sum of £45 a year by wealthy patrons.

The vogue for rustic poets did not last long however, and his popularity faded during the 1830s. The situation was made worse by his publishers, who insisted on 'correcting' Clare's individual style and use of dialect, to make his verse fit contemporary notions of poetic convention. Clare's attempts to write like other poets of his day, as well as his financial worries, put tremendous strain on his mind, and in 1837 he was admitted to a mental asylum in High Beach, Epping.

He escaped from the asylum in 1841,...
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